There may be a number of sleeping problems that can arise during the first year of life. Whether your baby decides she wants night feeds or develops a tendency to wake up during the middle of the night or whether bedtime is just unsettled in general, there are practical steps you can take to overcome problems.

Night feeds:
By about the age of six months your baby should be able to go without food through-out the night, but she may settle into a pattern of waking in search of a feed. If you want to wean her off these night time feeds, start by reducing the amount you give her, gradually stopping feed altogether, but instead staying with her for as long as she cries.

At the bedtime feed don’t let your baby fall asleep with either breast or bottle in her mouth. She needs to develop the habit of falling asleep on her own rather than rely on sucking to relax her. As soon as the eye lids drop tuck baby up in her cot.

If she wakes through the night feed her only for the first few times, reducing the amount each time. If she continues to cry then wait five minutes then pop back in and reassure her. Then go back to bed, even if baby’s still crying.

Continue to pop back every five minutes if she continues to cry. Only pick her up if she’s beside herself crying, then put her back and leave for a few minutes again. This may go on for a couple of hours but persevere.

For the next few nights you should stop offering food altogether and instead adopt the tactics for night waking for as long as it takes to teach baby how to sleep through the night.

Night waking:
The key to solving this problem is to reassure her while you also convey the message to your child that you have not abandoned them in the middle of the night, but at the same time making it clear that during these hours she will only be able to command minimum attention.

If you hear the child stirring, wait a few minutes so see if they fall back to sleep again. If the crying becomes sustained then go in and check to make sure nothing is wrong. Soothe her by rubbing her back, or if that doesn’t help a pick up and cuddle should do the trick. Stay until the tears turn into sniffles and put her back to bed, snug and warm. Then go back to bed yourself.

If crying continues call out to her reassuringly from your bed but wait a few minutes before you go back in to settle her down again. When you do go back in comfort her but try not to have to pick her put out of bed unless she is really beside herself.

Continue going back at five minute intervals until baby goes back to sleep, but after half an hour increase the gaps between going in to 10 minutes. A week of gentle firmness should be enough to establish a better sleeping pattern.

Unsettled bedtime:
From around the age of nine months it is good to establish a bedtime routine and sticking to it. If your baby gets into the pattern of not settling when you put her to bed then a week of resolutely following the tactics below should stop the pattern. Baby will get the message that you will always come if she cries, but you won’t get her back up again.

Make the bedtime routine fun but also loving, if she cries when you leave her go back and administer a loving kiss, but don’t pick her up and don’t stay long.

If she continues to cry, call out reassuringly to her but wait a few minutes before going back in to her. Make sure there isn’t something wrong like a dirty nappy or uncomfortable clothes, be cheerful but firm and after soothing her, go.

After several visits try increasing the length of time between each visit, but never leave your baby crying for more than 15 minutes.

It might be tempting to hang around in the bedroom longer but you need to show her that the brief reward of you visiting isn’t worth all the effort on her part. Eventually baby will drop off to sleep.

Few first-time parents have any idea of what behaviour to expect from a toddler. As a result, parents end up spending much of the time feeling guilty, inadequate, blaming themselves and believing they are the only parents who can’t control their children. The truth is that although each child is different and behaviour can vary widely, the normal toddler is far from being the little angel you may have been imagining.

In an effort to help first time parents come to terms with what they are about to experience, it should be noted that typical toddler behaviour will include varying degrees of the following:

- They will have little sense of what might be dangerous. They can be impulsive and unpredictable; even the normally sensible child is prone to doing the unexpected. All toddlers need close parental supervision.

- Toddlers crave attention, although some might be satisfied being near to their parents and be happy to receive whatever personal interest they get from mummy and daddy, others will insist on you answering to their every whim.

- Most toddlers (until the age of about three) do not like being separated from their parents. The toddler will prefer to play near his mother and will not stand mum being out of sight for long. For most, the first meeting with an unfamiliar child minder can be a source of stress, especially being left alone in the same room.

- Toddlers will be completely oblivious to the mountains of mess they create. It will be very unlikely that you will be able to convince junior to pick up his toys after he’s finished playing with them.

- Little people tend to be busy people. Some might be extremely active and rarely sit still, others will just be active.

- Tend to be stubborn and wilful; some are quite militant but others will bend to reason.

- Small children show little respect for other people’s property. Ornaments may get smashed and cupboards rearranged. For some reason, unknown to science, toddlers also manage to spread a sticky substance onto almost everything they touch.

- There will be endless questions, often the same ones over and over again, with very little real interest in the answer.

- Toddlers are extremely sensitive to emotions in their environment. They can sense upset, excitement and tension in their environment. A sound sleep pattern can be upset by illness, holidays or stress. Often quite a minor alteration to the environment can make the child who was fully toilet trained start to leak.

- They will constantly change their minds. One moment they might like something, the next hate it. Don’t plan to far in the future according to what the young one enjoys today.

- Constant interruptions of adults are a certainty. It’s not that the child is rude, it’s just that their heads are so full of what they perceive as being important information, that it just bursts out.

- Finally, little children display an unbelievably honed skill of being able to make their mothers feel inferior. Many will be as good as gold when in the care of others, keeping their more demonic side in reserve for their parents. Other toddlers will behave perfectly for their fathers but terrorise their mothers. This is because, more often than not, the child has had more time to study the vulnerabilities of its mother and knows exactly how to hit a raw nerve.

Of course not all children will be little terrors. Some will be wonderfully natured and mild mannered, but this is the exception rather than the rule. The good thing is that once you know what to expect and as you realise that this is normal toddler behaviour, it becomes so much easier to deal with.

Diversion is one of those good old-fashioned remedies that has stood up to the test of time and still comes out with flying colours. So what is it, and how can we use it?

Think back to those balmy days of your own childhood. You were at your granny’s house and about to introduce yourself to her collection of attractively coloured balls of wool which she kept for her knitting. Suddenly you heard granny calmly say, ‘I’ve just remembered I have a box of French Fancies cakes in the cupboard’. Your mind was instantly redirected towards this fascinating new prospect and the balls of wool went on to fulfil their destiny as an itchy jumper for you that next Christmas.

Today’s parents can use exactly the same technique with the same success. It is particularly useful with younger children. When it looks like a child is about to do something that you’d really rather it didn’t, it is often much easier to quickly divert the child’s attention before the obnoxious behaviour has time to take hold.

There is a precise moment at which the clever parent can step into a situation and take control, guiding the child to an activity or item which is much more socially acceptable. It must be remembered that if you can divert the attention of the child onto a ’side-stream’ (ie something not directly involving you) you will find yourself less busy.

Some parents argue that the use of diversion is improper, claiming that it deceives the child therefore teaching it dishonesty. I believe the answer to this is two fold. Firstly the art of diversion has been practiced for centuries. It works and helps prevent fights, accidents and other non desirable things from happening, therefore, you would be mad not to use it. Secondly I think it could be argued that diversion is also a form of entertainment. You are forced to always consider something interesting for the child to do or play with which can only be good.

Parents today are being bombarded with so much information about discipline the often fail to see what really matters. With all the different schools of thought it’s hard to remember what the really important core is.

If you remove all the trendy ideas about how to teach discipline to children you are essentially left with the following framework:

Love – A child can not have their behaviour effectively moulded unless they have the feeling of being wanted, respected, loved and cared for.

Consistency – children need to know exactly where the limits lie and precisely what is expected of them. They should see that their parents are in agreement and completely in charge. Discipline must be consistent and not dependant on the fluctuating moods of a weary mum or dad.

Staying calm and in control – don’t argue, don’t get into a debate, don’t stir up things which have happened before, don’t ‘throw a wobbly’ and don’t shoot from the hip.

Avoid trouble in the first place – toddler proof your home, don’t fight over little trivial things and recognise when you are on a loosing ticket.

Boost the best – reward good behaviour with encouragement, fun, attention and warmth. You can also give more tangible rewards and even bribes occasionally.

Underplaying the desired – try to hold yourself back from rising to the bait. Practice will make you skilled in the art of selective blindness and deafness.

Use your common sense and cunning – learn to spot when trouble is about to happen and avoid normal triggers. Divert the child’s attention, especially towards something which doesn’t directly involve your participation but which you can monitor while you get on with other things.

Have sensible expectations – young children are different from adults and will not behave as adults. Listen to what they are saying to us, since their behaviour may not need disciplining but instead comfort, reassurance and a cuddle.

Safety valves – when you think you’ve had enough try separating the warring parties. Sent them off to their bedrooms and find something else for yourself to do.

Finally, have a sense of humour – toddlers are capable of a huge variety of amazing things. Some will most definitely not be amusing but with others you may be able to see the funny side.

This is the final part in a three part series covering the three Trimesters of Pregnancy.

You will likely feel anxious about labour and wish you could go ahead and have the baby now. This doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with your baby. The sense you have of urgency is due to metabolic changes in the brain. Subtle shifts have gone on in each trimester bringing about the fatigue of the first, the elation and vigour of the second, and now the nervousness of the third.

Physical changes:
Your size is now growing rapidly and you are likely to feel tired. You may find that you are not sleeping as well as usual and this will increase your need for rest. As your ligaments stretch and give way, you may find walking about rather uncomfortable. Once your baby has settled into your pelvis, you will find that your breathlessness will diminish because the pressure on your diaphragm has been relieved.

Breathing:
Because of the reduced movement of the diaphragm as the baby grows larger in the abdomen, pregnant women breathe more deeply, taking more air in with each breath allowing for a better mixing of gases and more efficient consumption of oxygen. This lifts the ventilation rate from the normal seven litres of air per minute to ten litres (three pints to five pints per minute), an increase of over 40 percent. However, the oxygen requirements are increased by only 20 percent. This leads to over-breathing, which means that more carbon dioxide is exhaled per breath than normal. The low CO2 in the blood gives rise to a shortness of breath and this may be bothersome during this trimester. Relief should come when your baby engages in your pelvis. Meanwhile, sit in a semi-propped up position and avoid overdoing things.

Possible problems:
Hypertension might be a problem in the later stages of pregnancy. The major warning signs are swollen and puffy hands, wrists, ankles, feet, and face. Pre-eclampsia may interfere with the functioning of the placenta and prevent it from transporting nutrients to your baby efficiently. You may have to be hospitalized.

Taking care of yourself:
As the third trimester continues, the extra weight you are carrying can result in further backache and cause you to feel continually tired. Sleep can become a problem as you get bigger, as very few positions in bed seem to be comfortable. Don’t be tempted to take sleeping pills because they will make the baby sleepy too.

Take your time with everything during the last month, and make certain you get adequate rest; catnap whenever you can and set aside periods when you can relax - even if you don’t sleep. As your desire for making love may diminish or be frustrated by your increasing size, you may find that massage can enable you to relax and unwind, particularly if your partner can make it sensual. Continue to eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables and drink at least eight glasses of fluid per day as you’ll probably pass urine more often. You may find that you are constipated at times.

Your Antenatal care:
You will be checked more frequently during this time. There are many tests that your doctor may use to judge the baby’s health or well-being such as ultrasound, foetal heart rate monitoring and hormones measurements, and your doctor will discuss at each stage what is being done and why. Urine and blood pressure testing will be done frequently as will checks for possible swelling of your feet and hands. From the 36th week up until the onset of labour, you will be seen and checked at weekly intervals.

Preparing for baby:
Towards the end of this trimester you should have completed your baby’s nursery, and purchased the essential equipment.

It’s likely you have stopped working by the seventh month, and will be able to take life at your own pace. Labour may be increasingly on your mind, and some women do find themselves worrying obsessively about it. Although no-one can predict exactly what will happen during labour, as your experience will be unique, be reassured that the vast majority of births go without a hitch.

This is the second part in a three part series covering the three Trimesters of Pregnancy.

This is the time when pregnancy is well established and many of the minor complaints connected with early pregnancy will have vanished. It is, however, also the time when certain tests may have to be done. Amniocentesis, for example, will be offered to women over 35, those with a family history of congenital abnormalities, and those who have suffered repeated miscarriages.

Physical changes:
You may notice that your nipples begin to secrete colostrum. Your waistline will disappear and you will now ‘look’ pregnant. Your gums may become slightly spongy owing to the action of pregnancy hormones. However, there is no evidence for increased dental decay during pregnancy and absolutely no evidence to suggest that there is any truth in the saying “a tooth lost for every child”.

Digestion:
The entire musculature of your intestinal tract is relaxed and this is the cause of many of the minor discomforts during pregnancy. Oesophageal reflex may give you heartburn due to the relaxation of the sphincter at the top of the stomach. Gastric secretion is also reduced and therefore the food remains for longer in the stomach.

The relaxed intestinal muscle also leads to fewer bowel movements and although this allows more complete absorption of foodstuffs, it can also lead to constipation during pregnancy. Your increasing size Once your uterus has grown above your pelvis, your waistline will begin to disappear and you will need to wear larger and looser clothes.

On the other hand, the second trimester is a classic time for women to be told that they look small compared to how many weeks pregnant they are. If this happens to you, don’t worry. How big you will end up will depend on many factors, including your height and build; whether this is your first pregnancy or not, as the uterine muscle tends to get stretched after the first child; and the size of your baby. If your doctor is satisfied with the progress of pregnancy, then you should be too.

Taking care of yourself:
This is the trimester in which you will gain the most weight overall (approximately 6kg/12lb) and there fore it is essential that you consistently eat well. Your posture may also alter as the muscles of the abdominal wall become stretched so as to accommodate your enlarging uterus. As your uterus enlarges it will produce an alteration in your centre of gravity because you are carrying an increasing amount of weight in front. Leaning backwards to try and counter this may result in backache.

Backache:
This usually happens because of the increased blood flow to the whole of your pelvis, which causes some softening and relaxation of the ligaments of the sacroiliac joints (the sacrum) , which attach your pelvic bones to your spine at the back. In addition, the ligaments and the cartilage at the front of your pelvis also loosen and so the mobility of these joints is slightly improved. To help prevent backache, sit with a straight back and don’t slouch, don’t wear high-heeled shoes, and preferably sit on a hard chair or the floor.

Always maintain a straight back or, if lifting, bend from the knees and lift from a crouching position. Avoid lifting if you possibly can.

Your Antenatal care:
Regular checks of your urine, weight, and blood pressure may be augmented by testing for chromosomal defects. From this time, too, your doctor will concentrate on measuring the adequate growth of your foetus. He or she will palpate your abdomen to feel the size and shape of the uterus and check for the height of the fungus and will listen for the baby’s heartbeat.

Preparing for baby:
Towards the end of this trimester, when you are feeling good and full of energy, it is the ideal time to prepare your baby’s nursery and shop baby equipment.